THE
LIFE
OF OUR
HOLY
MOTHER
MARIA
OF EGYPT
† 522 A.D.
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by St Sophronios of Jerusalem
It is good to hide the secret of a king, but it is glorious to
reveal and preach the works of God (Tobit. 12: 7). So said the Archangel Raphael to Tobit when he
performed the wonderful healing of his blindness. Actually, not to keep
the secret of a king is perilous and
a terrible risk, but to be silent about the works of God is a
great loss for the soul. And I (says St. Sophronios), in writing the life of St. Maria of Egypt, am afraid to hide the works of God by silence. Remembering the misfortune threatened to the servant who hid his God-given
talent in the earth (Mat. 25: 18-25), I am bound to pass on the holy account that
has reached me. And let no one think (continues St. Sophronios) that I have
had the audacity to write untruth or doubt this great marvel - may I never
lie about holy things! If there do happen to be people who, after reading
this record, do not believe it,
may the Lord have mercy on them because, reflecting on the weakness of human
nature, they consider impossible these wonderful things accomplished by holy
people. But now we must begin to tell this most amazing story, which has
taken place in our generation. There was a certain elder in one of the
monasteries of Palestine, a priest of holy life and speech, who from
childhood had been brought up in monastic ways and customs. This elder’s
name was Zosimas. He had been through the whole course of the ascetic life
and in everything he adhered to the rule once given to him by his tutors as
regards spiritual labours. He had also added a good deal himself whilst
labouring to subject his flesh to the will of the spirit. And he had not
failed in his aim. He was so renowned for his spiritual life that many came
to him from neigbouring monasteries and some even from afar. While doing all
this, he never ceased to study the Divine Scriptures.
Whether resting, standing, working or eating food (if the scraps he nibbled could be called food), he
incessantly and constantly had a single aim: always to sing of God, and to
practice the teaching of the Divine Scriptures. Zosimas used to relate how,
as soon as he was taken from his mother’s breast, he was handed over to
the monastery where he went through his training as an ascetic till he
reached the age of 53. After that, he began to be tormented with the thought
that he was perfect in everything and needed no instruction from anyone,
saying to himself mentally, “Is there a monk on earth who can be of use to
me and show me a kind of ascetism that I have not accomplished? Is there a
man to be found in the desert who has surpassed me?” Thus thought the elder, when suddenly an angel
appeared to him and said: “Zosimas, valiantly hast thou struggled, as
far as this is within the power of man, valiantly hast thou gone through the
ascetic course. But there is no man who has attained perfection. Before thee
lie unknown struggles greater than those thou hast accomplished. That thou
mayest know how many other ways lead to salvation, leave thy native land
like the renowned Patriarch Abraham and go to the monastery by the River
Jordan.” Zosimas did as he was told. He left the
monastery in which he had lived from childhood, and went to the River
Jordan. At last he reached the community to which God had sent him. Having
knocked at the door of the monastery, he told the monk who was the porter
who he was; and the porter told the igumen. On being admitted to the
igumen’s presence, Zosimas made the usual monastic prostration and prayer.
Seeing that he was a monk the igumen asked: “Where dost thou come from, brother, and why
hast thou come to us poor
old men?” Zosimas replied: “There is no need to speak about where I
have come from, but I have come, father, seeking spiritual profit, for I
have heard great things about thy skill in leading souls to God.” “Brother,” the igumen said to him, “Only
God can heal the infirmity of the soul. May He teach thee and us His divine
ways and guide us. But as it is the love of Christ that has moved thee to
visit us poor old men, then stay with us, if that is why thou hast come. May
the Good Shepherd Who laid down His life for our salvation fill us all with
the grace of The Holy Spirit.” After this, Zosimas bowed to the igumen, asked
for his prayers and blessing, and stayed in the monastery. There he saw
elders proficient both in action and the contemplation of God, aflame in
spirit, working for the Lord. They sang incessantly, they stood in prayer
all night, work was ever in their hands and psalms on their lips. Never an
idle word was heard among them, they knew nothing about acquiring temporal
goods or of the cares of life. But they had one desire - to become in body
like corpses. Their constant food was the Word of God, and they sustained
their bodies on bread and water, as much as their love for God allowed them.
Seeing this, Zosimas was greatly edified and prepared for the struggle that
lay before him. Many days passed and the time drew near when
all Christians fast and prepare themselves to worship the Divine Passion
and Resurrection of Christ. The monastery gates were kept always locked and
only opened when one of the community was sent out on some errand. It was a
desert place, not only unvisited by people of the world, but even unknown to
them. There was a rule in that monastery which was
the reason why God brought Zosimas there. At the beginning of the Great
Fast, [on
Forgiveness Sunday] the priest
celebrated the holy Liturgy and all partook of the holy Body and Blood of
Christ. After the Liturgy they went to the refectory and would eat a little
lenten food. Then all gathered in church, and after praying
earnestly with prostrations, the elders kissed one another and asked forgiveness.
And each made a prostration to the igumen and asked his blessing and prayers
for the struggle that lay before them. After this, the gates of the
monastery were thrown open, and singing, The Lord is my light and my
saviour; whom then shall I fear? The Lord is the defender of my life; of
whom then shall I be afraid? (Psalm 26: 1) and the rest of that psalm, all went out into the
desert and crossed the River Jordan. Only one or two brothers were left in
the monastery, not to guard the property (for there was nothing to rob), but
so as not to leave the church without Divine Service. Each took with him as
much as he could or wanted in the way of food, according to the
needs of his body: one would take a little bread, another some figs, another
dates or wheat soaked in water. And some took nothing but their own body
covered with rags and fed when nature forced them to it on the plants that
grew in the desert. After crossing Jordan, they all scattered far
and wide in different directions. And this was the rule of life they had,
and which they all observed - neither to talk to one another, nor to know
how each one lived and fasted. If they did happen to catch sight of one
another, they went to another part of the country, living alone and always
singing to God, and at a definite time eating a very small quantity of
food. In this way they spent the whole of the fast and used to return to the
monastery a week before the Resurrection of Christ, on Palm Sunday [The
Entrance into Jerusalem]. Each one returned
having his own conscience as the witness of his labour, and no one asked
another how he had spent his time in the desert. Such were the rules of the
monastery. Everyone of them whilst in the desert struggled with himself before
the Judge of the struggle - God - not seeking to please men and fast before
the eyes of all. For what is done for the sake of men, to win praise and
honour, is not only useless to the one who does it but sometimes the cause
of great punishment. Zosimas did the same as all. And he went far,
far into the desert with a secret hope of finding some father who might be
living there and who might be able to satisfy his thirst and longing. And
he wandered on tirelessly, as if hurrying on to some definite place. He had
already walked for 20 days and when the sixth hour came he stopped and,
turning to the East, he began to sing the Sixth Hour and recite the
customary prayers. He used to break his journey thus at fixed hours of the
day to rest a little, to chant psalms standing and to pray on bent knees. And as he sang thus without turning his eyes
from the heavens, he suddenly saw to the right of the hillock on which he
stood the semblance of a human body. At first he was confused thinking he
beheld a vision of the devil, and even started with fear. But, having
guarded himself with the sign of the Cross and banished all fear, he turned
his gaze in that direction and in truth saw some form gliding southwards. It
was naked, the skin dark as if burned up by the heat of the sun; the hair on
its head was white as a fleece, and not long, falling just below its neck.
Zosimas was so overjoyed at beholding a human form that he ran after it in
pursuit, but the form fled from him. He followed. At length, when he was
near enough to be heard, he shouted: “Why dost thou run away from an old man and
a sinner? Slave of the true God, wait for me, whoever thou art, in God’s
name I tell thee, for the love of God for Whose sake thou art living in this
desert.” “Forgive me for God’s sake, but I cannot
turn towards thee and show thee my face, Abba Zosimas. For I am a woman and
naked as thou seest with the uncovered shame of my body. But if thou wouldst
like to fulfil one wish of a sinful woman, throw me thy cloak so that I can
cover my body and can turn to thee and ask for thy blessing.” Here terror seized Zosimas, for he heard that
she called him by name. But he realized that she could not have done so
without knowing anything of him or if she had not had the power of spiritual
insight. He at once did as he was asked. He took off
his old, tattered cloak and threw it to her, turning away as he did so.
She picked it up and was able to cover at least a part of her body. Then she turned to Zosimas and said: “Why didst thou wish, Abba Zosimas, to see a
sinfulwoman? What dost thou wish to hear or learn from me, thou who hast not
shrunk from such great struggles?” Zosimas threw himself on the ground and asked
for her blessing. She likewise bowed down before him. And thus they lay on
the ground prostrate asking for each other’s blessing. And one word alone
could be heard from both: “Bless me!” After a long while the woman said
to Zosimas: “Abba Zosimas, it is thou who must give
blessings and pray. Thou art dignified by the order of priesthood and for
many years thou hast been standing before the holy altar and offering the
sacrifice of the Divine Mysteries.” This flung Zosimas into even greater terror.
At length with tears he said to her: “O mother, filled with the Spirit, by thy
mode of life it is evident that thou dost live with God and have died to the
world. The Grace granted to thee is apparent - for thou hast called me by
name and recognized that I am a priest, though thou hast never seen me
before. Grace is recognized not by one’s orders, but by gifts of the
Spirit, so give me thy blessing for God’s sake, for I need thy prayers.” Then giving way before the wish of the elder
the woman said: “Blessed is God Who cares for the salvation
of men and their souls.” Zosimas answered: “Amen.” And both rose to their feet. Then the woman
asked the elder: “Why hast thou come, man of God, to me who
am so sinful? Why dost thou wish to see a woman naked and devoid of every
virtue? Though I know one thing - the
Grace of the Holy Spirit hast
brought thee to render me a service in time. Tell me, father, how are the
Christian peoples living? And the kings? How is the Church guided?” Zosimas said: “By thy holy prayers, mother, Christ hast
granted lasting peace to all. But fulfill the unworthy petition of an old
man and pray for the whole world and for me who am a sinner, so that my
wanderings in the desert may not be fruitless.” She answered: “Thou art a priest, Abba Zosimas, it is thee
who must pray for me and for all - for this is thy calling. But as we must
all be obedient, I will gladly do what thou dost ask.” And with these words she turned to the East,
and raising her eyes to heaven and stretching out her hands, she began to
pray in a whisper. One could not hear separate words, so that Zosimas could
not understand anything that she said in her prayers. Meanwhile he stood,
according to his own word, all in a flutter, looking at the ground without
saying a word. And he swore, calling God to witness that when at length he
thought that her prayer was very long, he took his eyes off the ground and
saw that she was raised about a forearm’s distance above the ground and
stood praying in the air. When he saw this, even greater terror seized him
and he fell on the ground weeping and repeating many times, “Lord have
mercy.” And whilst lying prostrate on the ground he
was tempted by a thought: Is it not a spirit, and perhaps her prayer is
hypocrisy? But at the very same moment the woman turned round, raised the
elder from the ground and said: “Why do thoughts confuse thee, Abba, and
tempt thee about me, as if I were a spirit and a dissembler in prayer? Know,
holy father, that I am only a sinful woman, though I am guarded by Holy
Baptism. And I am no spirit but earth and ashes, and flesh alone.” And with these words she guarded herself with
the sign of the Cross on her forehead, eyes, mouth and breast, saying: “May God defend us from the evil one and
from his designs, for fierce is his struggle against us.” Hearing and seeing this, the elder fell to the
ground and, embracing her feet, he said with tears: “I beg thee, by the Name of Christ our God,
Who wast born of a Virgin, for Whose sake thou hast stripped thyself, for
Whose sake thou hast exhausted thy flesh, do not hide from thy slave, who
thou art and whence and how thou didst come into this desert. Tell me
everything so that the marvellous works of God may become known. A hidden
wisdom and a secret treasure - what profit is there in them? Tell me all, I
implore thee. For not out of vanity or for self-display wilt thou speak but
to reveal the truth to me, an unworthy sinner. I believe in God, for Whom
thou livest and Whom thou dost serve. I believe that He led me into this
desert so as to show me His ways in regard to thee. It is not in our power
to resist the plans of God. If it were not the will of God that thou and thy
life should be known, He would not have allowed me to see thee and would not
have strengthened me to undertake this jouney, one like me who never before
dared to leave his cell.” Much more said Abba Zosimas. But the woman
raised him and said: “I am ashamed, Abba, to speak to thee of my
disgraceful life, forgive me for
God’s sake! But as thou hast already seen my naked body I shall likewise lay bare before thee
my work, so that thou mayest know with what shame and obscenity my soul is
filled. I was not running away out of vanity, as thou hast thought, for what
have I to be proud of - I who wast the chosen vessel of the devil? But when
I start my story thou wilt run from me, as from a snake, for thine ears will
not be able to bear the vileness of mine actions. But I shall tell thee all
without hiding anything, only imploring thee first of all to pray
incessantly for me, so that I may find mercy on the Day of Judgement.” The elder wept and the woman began her story. “My native land, holy father, was Egypt.
Already during the lifetime of my parents, when I was twelve years old, I renounced
their love and went to Alexandria. I am ashamed to recall how there I at
first ruined my maidenhood and then unrestrainedly and insatiably gave
myself up to sensuality. It is more becoming to speak of this briefly, so
that thou mayest just know my passion and my lechery. For about seventeen
years, forgive me, I lived like that. I was like a fire of public debauch. And it was not for the sake of gain - here I speak the pure truth.
Often when they wished to pay me, I refused the money. I acted in this way
so as to make as many men as possible try to obtain me, doing free of charge
what gave me pleasure. Do not think that I was rich and that was the reason
why I did not take money. I lived by begging, often by spinning flax, but I
had an insatiable desire and an irrepressible passion for lying in filth.
This was life to me. Every kind of abuse of nature I regarded as life. “That is how I lived. Then one summer I saw
a large crowd of Lybians and Egyptians running towards the sea. I asked one
of them, ‘Where are these men hurrying to?’ He, replied, ‘They are all
going to Jerusalem for the Exaltation of the Precious and Lifegiving Cross,
which takes place in a few days.’ I said to him, ‘Will they take me with
them if I wish to go?’ ‘No one will hinder thee if thou hast money to
pay for the journey and for food.’ And I said to him, ‘To tell thee
the truth, I have no money, neither have I food. But I shall go with them
and shall go aboard. And they shall feed me, whether they want to or not. I
have a body - they shall take it
instead of pay for the journey.’ I was suddenly filled with a desire to
go, Abba, to have more lovers who could satisfy my passion. I told thee,
Abba Zosimas, not to force me to tell thee of my disgrace. God is my
witness, I am afraid of defiling thee and the very air with my words.” Zosimas, weeping, replied to her: “Speak on for God’s sake, mother, speak
and do not break the thread of such an edifying tale.” And, resuming her story, she went on: “That youth, on hearing my shameless words,
laughed and went off. While I, throwing away my spinning wheel, ran off
towards the sea in the direction which everyone seemed to be taking. And,
seeing some young men standing on the shore, about ten or more of them, full
of vigour and alert in their movements, I decided that they would do for my
purpose (it seemed that some of them were waiting for more travelers whilst
others had gone ashore). Shamelessly, as usual, I mixed with the crowd,
saying, ‘Take me with you to the place you are going to; you will not find
me superfluous.’ I also added a few more words calling forth general
laughter. Seeing my readiness to be shameless, they readily took me aboard the boat. Those
who were expected came also, and we set sail at once. ‘How shall I relate to thee what happened
after this? Whose tongue can tell, whose ears can take in all that took
place on the boat during that voyage! And to all this I frequently forced
those miserable youths even against their own will. There is no mentionable
or unmentionable depravity of which I was not their teacher: I am amazed,
Abba, how the sea stood our licentiousness, how the earth did not open its
jaws, and how it was that hell did not swallow me alive, when I had
entangled in my net so many souls. But I think God was seeking my repentance.
For He does not desire the death of a sinner but magnanimously awaits his
return to Him. At last we arrived in Jerusalem. I spent the days before
the festival in the town, living the same kind of life, perhaps even worse.
I was not content with the youths I had seduced at sea and who had helped me
to get to Jerusalem; many others - citizens of the town and foreigners - I also seduced. “The holy day of the Exaltation of the Cross
dawned while I was still flying about - hunting for youths. At daybreak I
saw that everyone was hurrying to the church, so I ran with the rest. When
the hour for the holy elevation approached, I was trying to make my way in
with the crowd which was struggling to get through the church doors. I had
at last squeezed through with great difficulty almost to the entrance of the
temple, from which the lifegiving Tree of the Cross was being shown to the
people. But when I trod on the doorstep which everyone passed, I was stopped
by some force which prevented mine entering. Meanwhile I was brushed aside
by the crowd and found myself standing alone in the porch. Thinking that
this had happened because of my woman’s weakness, I again began to work my
way into the crowd, trying to elbow myself forward. But in vain I struggled.
Again my feet trod on the doorstep over which others were entering the
church without encountering any obstacle. I alone seemed to remain unaccepted
by the church. It was as if there was a detachment of soldiers standing
there to oppose mine entrance. Once again I was excluded by the same mighty
force and again I stood in the porch. “Having repeated my attempt three or four
times, at last I felt exhausted and had no more strength to push and to be
pushed, so I went aside and stood in a corner of the porch. And only then
with great difficulty it began to dawn on me, and I began to understand
the reason why I was prevented from being admitted to see the life-giving
Cross. The word of salvation gently touched the eyes of my heart and
revealed to me that it was my unclean life which barred the entrance to me.
I began to weep and lament and beat my breast, and to sigh from the depths
of my heart. And so I stood weeping when I saw above me the ikon of the most
holy Mother of God. And turning to her my bodily and spiritual eyes I said: “’O Lady, Theotokos, who gavest birth in
the flesh to God the Word, I know, O how well I know, that it is no honour
or praise to thee when one so impure and depraved as I look up to thine
ikon, O Ever-Virgin, who didst keep thy body and soul in purity. Rightly do
I inspire hatred and disgust before thy virginal purity. But I have heard
that God Who was born of thee became man on purpose to call sinners to
repentance. Then help me, for I have no other help. Order the entrance of
the church to be opened to me. Allow me to see the venerable Tree on which
He Who was born of thee suffered in the flesh and on which He shed His holy
Blood for the redemption of sinners and for me, unworthy as I am. Be my faithful witness before thy Son that
I will never again defile my body by the impurity of fornication, but as
soon as I have seen the Tree of the Cross I will renounce the world and its
temptations and will go wherever
thou wilt lead me.’ “Thus I spoke and as if acquiring some hope
in firm faith, and feeling some confidence in the mercy of the Theotokos, I
left the place where I stood praying. And I went again and mingled with the crowd that was pushing its
way into the temple. And now no one seemed to thwart me, no
one hindered mine entering the church. I was possessed with trembling, and
was almost in delirium. Having got as far as the doors which I could not
reach before - as if the same force which had hindered me cleared the way
for me - I now entered without difficulty and found myself within the holy
place. And so it was I saw the lifegiving Cross. I saw too the Mysteries of
God and how the Lord accepts repentance. Throwing myself on the ground, I
worshipped that holy earth and kissed it with trembling. Then I came out
of the church and went to her who had promised to be my security, to the
place where I had sealed my vow. And bending my knees before the Virgin
Theotokos, I addressed to her such words as these: “‘O loving Lady, thou hast shown me thy
great love for all men. Glory to God Who receives the repentance of sinners
through thee. What more can I recollect or say, I who am so sinful? It is
time for me, O Lady, to fulfil my vow, according to thy witness. Now lead me
by the hand along the path of repentance!’ And at these words I heard a
voice from on high: “‘If thou crossest Jordan thou wilt find
glorious rest.’ “Hearing this voice and having faith that it
was for me, I cried to the Mother of God: “‘O Lady, Lady, do not forsake me!’ “With these words I left the porch of the
church and set off on my journey. As I was leaving the church a stranger
glanced at me and gave me three coins, saying: “‘Sister, take these.’ “And, taking the money, I bought three
loaves and took them with me on my journey, as a blessed gift. I asked the
person who sold the bread: ‘Which is the way to Jordan?’ I was directed
to the city gate which led that way. Running on I passed the gates and still
weeping went on my journey. Those I met I asked the way, and after walking
for the rest of that day (I think it was nine o’clock when I saw the
Cross) I at length reached at sunset the Church of St. John the Baptist
which stood on the banks of the Jordan. After praying in the temple, I went
down to the Jordan and rinsed my face and hands in its holy waters. I
partook of the holy and life-giving Mysteries in the Church of the
Forerunner and ate half of one of my loaves. Then, after drinking some water
from Jordan, I lay down and passed the night on the ground. In the morning I
found a small boat and crossed to the opposite bank. I again prayed to Our
Lady to lead me whither she wished. And I found myself in this desert and
since then up to this very day I am estranged from all, keeping away from
people and running away from everyone. And I live here clinging to my God
Who saves all who turn to Him from faintheartedness and storms.” Zosimas asked her: “How many years have gone by since thou
didst begin to live in this desert?” She replied: “Forty-seven years have already gone by, I
think, since I left the holy city.” Zosimas asked: “But what food dost thou find?” The woman said: “I had two and a half loaves when I crossed
the Jordan. Soon they dried up and became hard as rock. Eating a little I
gradually finished them after a few years.” Zosimas asked: “Can it be that without getting ill thou
hast lived so many years thus, without suffering in any way from such a
complete change?”
The woman answered: “Thou dost remind me, Abba Zosimas, of what
I dare not speak of. For when I recall all the dangers which I overcame, and
all the violent thoughts which confused me, I am again afraid that they will
take possession of me.” Zosimas said: “Do not hide from me anything; speak to me
without concealing anything.” And she said to him: “Believe me, Abba,
seventeen years I passed in this desert fighting wild beasts - mad desires
and passions. When I was about to partake of food, I used to begin to regret
the meat and fish of which I had so much in Egypt. I regretted also not
having wine which I loved so much. For I drank a lot of wine when I lived in
the world, while here I had not even water. I used to burn and succumb with
thirst. The mad desire for profligate songs also entered me and confused
me greatly, edging me on to sing satanic songs which I had learned once. But
when such desires entered me I struck myself on the breast and reminded
myself of the vow which I had made, when going into the desert. In my
thoughts I returned to the ikon of the Theotokos which had received me and
to her I cried in prayer. I implored her to chase away the thoughts to which
my miserable soul was succumbing. And after weeping for long and beating my
breast I used to see light at last which seemed to shine on me from
everywhere. And after the violent storm, lasting calm descended. “And how can I tell thee about the thoughts
which urged me on to fornication, how can I express them to thee, Abba? A
fire was kindled in my miserable heart which seemed to burn me up completely
and to awake in me a thirst for embraces. As soon as this craving came to
me, I flung myself on the earth and watered it with my tears, as if I saw
before me my witness, who had appeared to me in my disobedience and who
seemed to threaten punishment for the crime. And I did not rise from the
ground (sometimes I lay thus prostrate for a day and a night) until a calm
and sweet light descended and enlightened me and chased away the thoughts
that possessed me. But always I turned the eyes of my mind to my
Protectress, asking her to extend help to one who was sinking fast in the
waves of the desert. And I always had her as my helper and the accepter of
my repentance. And thus I lived for seventeen years amid constant dangers.
And since then even till now the Theotokos helps me in everything and leads
me as it were by the hand.” Zosimas asked: “Can it be that thou didst not need food and
clothing?” She answered: “After finishing the loaves I had, of which
I spoke, for seventeen years I have fed on herbs and all that can be found
in the desert. The clothes I had when I crossed the Jordan became torn and
worn out. I suffered greatly from the cold and greatly from the extreme
heat: at times the sun burned me up and at other times I shivered from the
frost, and frequently falling to the ground I lay without breath and without
motion. I struggled with many afflictions and with terrible temptations. But
from that time till now the power of God in numerous ways has guarded my
sinful soul and my humble body. When I only reflect on the evils from which
our Lord has delivered me I have imperishable food for hope of salvation. I
am fed and clothed by the all-powerful Word of God, the Lord of all. For it
is not by bread alone that man lives. And those who have stripped off the
rags of sin have no refuge, hiding themselves in the clefts of the rock
(Job. 24; Heb. 11:38).” Hearing that she cited words of Scripture,
from Moses and Job, Zosimas asked her: “And so thou hast read the psalms and other
books?” She smiled at this and said to the elder: “Believe me, I have not seen a human face
ever since I crossed the Jordan, except thine today. I have not seen a beast
or a living being ever since I came into the desert. I never learned from
books. I have never even heard anyone who sang and read from them. But the
Word of God which is alive and active, by itself teaches a man knowledge.
And so this is the end of my tale. But, as I asked thee in the beginning, so
even now I implore thee for the sake of the Incarnate Word of God, to pray
to the Lord for me who am such a sinner.” Thus concluding her tale she bowed down before
him. And with tears the elder exclaimed: “Blessed is God Who creates the great and
wondrous, the glorious and marvellous without end. Blessed is God Who hast
shown me how He rewards those who fear Him. Truly, O, Lord, Thou dost not
forsake those who seek Thee!” And the woman, not allowing the elder to bow
down before her, said: “I beg thee, holy father, for the sake of
Jesus Christ our God and Saviour, tell no one what thou hast heard, until
God delivers me of this earth. And now depart in peace and again next year
thou shall see me, and I thee, if God will preserve us in His great mercy.
But for God’s sake do as I ask thee: Next year during Lent do not cross
the Jordan, as is your custom in the monastery.” Zosimas was amazed to hear she knew the rules
of the monastery and could only say: “Glory to God Who bestows great gifts on
those who love Him.” She continued: “Remain, Abba, in the monastery. And even if
thou dost wish to depart, thou wilt not be able to do so. And at sunset of
the holy day of the Mystical Supper, put some of the lifegiving Body and
Blood of Christ into a holy vessel worthy to hold such Mysteries for me, and
bring it. And wait for me on the banks of Jordan adjoining the inhabited
parts of the land, so that I can come and partake of the lifegiving Gifts.
For, since the time I communicated in the temple of the Forerunner before
crossing the Jordan even to this day I have not approached the Holy
Mysteries. And I thirst for them with irrepressible love and longing. And
therefore I ask and implore thee to grant me my wish, bring me the
lifegiving Mysteries at the very hour when Our Lord made His disciples
partake, of His Divine Supper. Tell John the Igumen of the monastery where
thou livest: Look to thyself and to thy brothers, for there is much that
needs correction. Only do not say this now, but when God guides thee. Pray
for me!” With these words she vanished in the depths of
the desert. And Zosimas, falling down on his knees and bowing down to the
ground on which she had stood, sent up glory and thanks to God. And, after
wandering through the desert, he returned to the monastery on the day all
the brothers returned. For the whole year he kept silent, not daring
to tell anyone of what he had seen. But in his soul he prayed to God to
give him another chance of seeing the ascetic’s dear face. And when at
length the first Sunday of the Great Fast came, all went out into the desert
with the customary prayers and the singing of psalms. Only Zosimas was held
back by illness - he lay in a fever. And then he remembered what
the saint had said to him: “And even if thou dost wish to depart, thou
wilt not be able to do so.” Many days passed and at last recovering from
his illness he remained in the monastery. And when again the monks returned
and the day of the Mystical Supper dawned, he did as he had been ordered.
And placing some of the most pure Body and Blood into a small chalice and
putting some figs and dates and lentils soaked in water into a small basket,
he departed for the desert and reached the banks of the Jordan and sat down
to wait for the saint. He waited for a long while and then began to doubt.
Then raising his eyes to heaven, he began to pray: “Grant me, O Lord, to behold that which Thou
hast allowed me to behold once. Do not let me depart in vain, bearing the
burden of my sins.” And then another thought struck him: “And what if she does come? There is no
boat; how will she cross the Jordan to come to me who am so unworthy?” And as he was pondering thus he saw the holy
woman appear and stand on the other side of the river. Zosimas got up
rejoicing and glorifying and thanking God. And again the thought came to him
that she could not cross the Jordan. Then he saw that she made the sign of
the Cross over the waters of Jordan (and the night was a moonlight one, as
he related afterwards) and then she at once stepped on to the waters and
began moving across the surface towards him. And when he wanted to prostrate
himself, she cried to him while still walking on the water: “What art thou doing, Abba, thou art a
priest and carrying the Divine Gifts!” He obeyed her and on reaching the shore she
said to the elder: “Bless, father, bless me!” He answered her trembling, for a state of
confusion had overcome him at the sight of the miracle: “Truly God did not lie when He promised that
when we purify ourselves we shall be like Him. Glory to Thee, Christ our
God, Who hast shown me through this Thy slave how far away I stand from
perfection.” Here the woman asked him to say the Creed and
Our Father. He began, she finished the prayer and according to the custom of
that time gave him the Kiss of Peace on his lips. Having partaken of the
Holy Mysteries, she raised her hands to heaven and sighed with tears in her
eyes, exclaiming: “Now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in
peace, O Lord, according to Thy word; for mine eyes have seen Thy
salvation.”
Then she said to the elder: “Forgive me, Abba, for asking thee, but
fulfil another wish of mine. Go now to the monastery and let God’s grace
guard thee. And next year come again to the same place where I first met
thee. Come for God’s sake, for thou shalt again see me, for such is the
will of God.” He said to her: “From this day on I would like to follow
thee and always see thy holy face. But now fulfil the one and only wish of
an old man and take a little of the food I have brought for thee.” And he showed her the basket, while she just
touched the lentils with the tips of her fingers, and taking three grains
said that the Holy Spirit guards the substance of the soul unpolluted.
Then she said: “Pray, for God’s sake pray for me and
remember a miserable wretch.” Touching the saint’s feet and asking for her
prayers for the Church, the kingdom and himself, he let her depart with
tears, while he went off sighing and sorrowful, for he could not hope to
vanquish the invincible. Meanwhile she again made the sign of the Cross over
the Jordan, and stepped on to the waters and crossed over as before. And the
elder returned filled with joy and terror, accusing himself of not having
asked the saint her name. But he decided to do so next year. And when another year had passed, he again
went into the desert. He reached the same spot but could see no sign of
anyone. So raising his eyes to heaven as before, he prayed: “Show me, O Lord, Thy pure treasure, which
Thou hast concealed in the desert. Show me, I pray Thee, Thine angel in the
flesh, of which the world is not worthy.” And whilest he prayed at the place known to
him he found the dead righteous one, lying with her
face turned towards the rising sun. Her hands
were crossed according to custom and her face was turned to the East.
Running up he shed tears over the saint’s feet and kissed them, not daring
to touch anything else. For a long time he wept. Then reciting the
appointed psalms, he said the burial prayers and thought to himself: “Must
I bury the body of a saint? Or will this be contrary to her wishes?” And
then he saw words traced on the ground by her head: “Abba Zosimas, bury on this spot the body of
humble Maria. Return to dust that which is dust and pray to the Lord for me,
who departed in the month of Fermoutin of Egypt, called April by the Romans,
on the first day, on the very night of our Lord’s Passion, after having
partaken of the Divine Mysteries.” [522 a.d.] Reading this the elder was glad to know the
saint’s name. He understood too that as soon as she had partaken of the
Divine Mysteries on the shore of the Jordan she was at once transported to
the place where she died. The distance which Zosimas had taken twenty days
to cover, Maria had evidently traversed in an hour and had at once
surrendered her soul to God. Then Zosimas thought: “It is time to do as
she wished. But how am I to dig a grave with nothing in my hands?” And then he saw nearby a small piece of wood
left by some traveller in the desert. Picking it up he began to dig the
ground. But the earth was hard and dry and did not yield to the efforts of
the elder. He grew tired and covered with sweat. He sighed from the depths
of his soul and lifting up his eyes he saw a big lion standing close to the
saint’s body and licking her feet. At the sight of the lion he trembled
with fear, especially when he called to mind Maria’s words, that she had
never seen wild beasts in the desert. But guarding himself with the sign of
the Cross, the thought came to him that the power of the one lying there
would protect him and keep him unharmed. Meanwhile the lion drew nearer to
him, expressing affection by every movement. Zosimas said to the lion: “The Great One ordered that her body was to
be buried. But I am old and have not the strength to dig the grave (for I
have no spade and it would take too long to go and get one), so canst thou
carry out the work with thy claws? Then we can commit to the earth the
mortal temple of the saint.” While he was still speaking the lion with his
front paws began to dig a hole deep enough to bury the body. Again the elder washed the feet of the saint
with his tears and calling on her to pray for all, covered the body with
earth in the presence of the lion. It was as it had been, naked and
uncovered by anything but the tattered cloak which had been given to her by
Zosimas and with which Maria, turning away, had managed to cover part of her
body. Then both departed. The lion went off into the depth of the desert
like a lamb, while Zosimas returned to the monastery glorifying and blessing
Christ our Lord. And on reaching the monastery he told all the brothers
about everything, and all marvelled on hearing of God’s miracles. And with
fear and love they kept the memory of the saint. Igumen John, as St. Maria had previously told
Abba Zosimas, found a number of things wrong in the monastery and got rid
of them with God’s help. And Saint Zosimas died in the same monastery,
almost attaining the age of a hundred, and passed to eternal life. The monks
kept this story without writing it down and passed it on by word of mouth
to one another. But I (adds Saint Sophronios) as soon as I
heard it, wrote it down. Perhaps someone else, better informed, has already
written the life of the Saint, but as far as I could, I have recorded
everything, putting truth above all else. May God Who works amazing miracles
and generously bestows gifts on those who turn to Him with faith, reward,
those who seek light for themselves in this story, who hear, read and are
zealous to write it, and may He grant them the lot of blessed Maria together
with all who at different times have pleased God by their pious thoughts and
labours. And let us also give glory to God, the eternal
King, that He may grant us, too, His mercy in the Day of Judgment for the
sake of Jesus Christ our Lord, to Whom belongs all glory, honour, dominion
and adoration with the Eternal Father and the Most Holy and Life-giving,
Spirit, now and always, and throughout all ages. Amen. + +
+ DISMISSAL HYMN, tone 8: In thee the image was preserved with exactness, O Mother; for taking up thy cross, thou didst follow Christ, and by thy deeds thou didst teach us to overlook the flesh, for it passeth away, but to attend to the soul since it is immortal. Wherefore, O righteous Maria, thy spirit rejoiceth with the Angels. KONTAKION, tone 4: By the toils of thy struggles, O God-inspired one, thou didst hallow the harshness of the desert. Wherefore, we glorify thy memory, as we honour thee with hymns, O Maria, glory of the righteous.
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